Monday, June 07, 2010

Nearly got molested. Again and again and again...

Yesterday I nearly got molested in a shop. And sadly this is not the first time I have been sexually assaulted. I have had men sneak up behind me while they were masturbating. I have sat in an auto with a friend where the autowala was jacking off. I was once surrounded by boys who had stopped their car beside me and tried to get me inside the car. And right now I am so angry and tired and just plain disgusted. Why are men here so perverted and why can't I enjoy one day where I am not verbally, physically and emotionally violated!

Yesterday's incident made me so helpless. I knew what that man was trying to do as he tried to corner me, touch me and repeatedly tried to lure me back into the dark corners of his shop, but I was so shocked that all I could do was shout at him and warn him. Now I wish I had physically injured him. Actually I wish I had castrated him.

No matter how long I have lived here in Delhi and have learned ways to avoid and ignore such abuses, I am still not immune to them. Over the last eight years I have had to become more vocal and aggressive while dealing with men, but inside I still get scared.

I never call an electrician or plumber when I am home alone. I never take calls from unknown numbers. I never get friendly with male colleagues until I know for sure that they are nice, decent guys. I carry a pepper spray in my bag. I have learned a few self defense moves. But no matter what or how many precautions I take, I can never forget that I am still a woman and I can never ever let my guard down. Or else what happened yesterday might happen. And the next time I might not be so lucky like I have been in the past.

7 comments:

Puja said...

dont know what to tell you, this is something that happens so many times i still wonder why dont we simply get used to it, get used to men hurting us emotionally, physically and sexually. and the worst part is someone will tell you 'u asked for it'...your clothes were too short, or too tight, or it was late in the night and you shouldnt be around, or you are too pretty you should cover your face...whatever bullshit they could come up with.i totally agree with the castrating bit...i have totally stopped using public transport, no bus no autos, still on bike people stare at you...and i feel like i am not wearing clothes at all. f*** b***rds.

Anonymous said...

that is horrible and i think a lot of girls can relate to that because even i have had lots of incidents like this. but it is great that you decided to write about it. the more vocal we become and less scared to talk about these things, we will become more powerful.

Blandid said...

Thanks for the support. It's not an easy topic to go public but it's worth it when there are many like you who also have gone through the same things and can empathize with these situations. Thanks guys!

Nithin R S said...

Well,its shocking that you are facing this at public spaces.You should react.If many girls show courage to react,these kind of people will fend off.I would rather say girls should group and handle them in public with chappals.Well be careful, but just dont think too much about these.Just get on with your life.

Blandid said...

It is shocking as it happens everyday and usually I react by shouting or some verbal attacks but that day I was really shocked to react at that moment.But I am getting on my life. Can't have this incident stop me.

lilly said...

This just happened to me coming in an auto from green park metro to safdarjung enclave. The autowala accidentally touched my knee increasingly aggressively thrice until I fully realized what was happening was on purpose. I hit his hand and jumped out of the car.

I like the idea of hitting these men with chappals. I kind of want to start a pink chappal campaign where women carry small rubber chappals on their purses as a symbol that they will hit any man who dares treat them this way. If all the women of delhi wore this, they would have to think twice.

Blandid said...

Hey Lily! I love the "Pink Chappal" idea. Think it would be a great campaign to raise awareness and make a point. Why don't you start it? Imagine millions of pink chappals being carried in our bags. Ideas are running in my heads. Think it is an awesome idea. Just have to be sure that it doesn't get trivialised being becoming a fashion statement. :-D You should totally start this! :-D