Friday, August 04, 2006

Brain Dead Nonsense

I can’t seem to be up for anything. Time for me to sleep, to play with the reverie fairies or battle with the subconscious demons or float in a vacuum of restlessness. Exhausted but why I’m not sure. Day passes with not much yet I’m so weary. An empty weariness, wandering. Trying to pass my time and figure out what to do. Lost and bored. Nothing stimulating to immerse me into a torrid affair with it. Life seems so wasted but time will make up for all the moments that I have killed with nothingness. I will yearn for those moments and wish that I had utilized that time more efficiently. The luxury of doing nothing will be coveted. Pure rubbish. That is what I am talking about. Random thoughts going through my head and nothing to sustain them but these black and white words. What the fuck, I’m totally lost. I can’t even make a decision to make a stupid decision as to whether I should sleep or read my books. Oh, the dilemma of being young, to procrastinate and be bored. Being too precautious, too rational makes you lose out on life. Worrying about so many things can paralyze you, make you rationalize everything that you should do but you end up doing nothing. The little philosophies that I have in my life do nothing to inspire me at the moment and I wish that I could be inspired and just be non-rational sometimes. I worry about too may things or think about all the possible things that could happen and then I don’t execute anything and then nothing happens. Too many stratagems and no action. How pathetic. Too many restrictions on myself because of my stupid way of rationalizing things. I am rationality’s foe. I am brain dead and King of Leon lures me away from trying to rationalize anymore.

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